In Other News …

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Donald Trump Talks Old Post Office, DC Hotels  [Washington City Paper]  The Donald said a bunch of stuff on various subjects but no one in attendance heard a single word, because they were so transfixed by his hair.

Indonesian Embassy to Erect Statue of Goddess On Public Property  [Borderstan]  The statue is going to depict Saraswati, the Hindu goddess of science (!), which sort of blows my mind.  It’s like if there was a patron saint of blasphemy.

Developer Releases Plans for Landmark Mall Makeover  [Washington Post]  The establishment is finally admitting that malls were a terrible mistake.  Now if they’d just do the same with cargo pockets.

All You Need to Know About Moving In DC  [Curbed DC]  Lift with your legs, not your back, and “english basement” is code for “wretched bachelor dungeon that will always smell like a public shower no matter how much incense you burn.”

Exxon Mobil to Sell Merrifield Campus  [Washington Business Journal]  The multinational oil giant is vacating their 117-acre campus in Fairfax County.  Locals report seeing movers hauling out bales and bales of blood-soaked cash amid the distinctive odor of brimstone.

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