Donald Trump Talks Old Post Office, DC Hotels [Washington City Paper] The Donald said a bunch of stuff on various subjects but no one in attendance heard a single word, because they were so transfixed by his hair.
Indonesian Embassy to Erect Statue of Goddess On Public Property [Borderstan] The statue is going to depict Saraswati, the Hindu goddess of science (!), which sort of blows my mind. It’s like if there was a patron saint of blasphemy.
Developer Releases Plans for Landmark Mall Makeover [Washington Post] The establishment is finally admitting that malls were a terrible mistake. Now if they’d just do the same with cargo pockets.
All You Need to Know About Moving In DC [Curbed DC] Lift with your legs, not your back, and “english basement” is code for “wretched bachelor dungeon that will always smell like a public shower no matter how much incense you burn.”
Exxon Mobil to Sell Merrifield Campus [Washington Business Journal] The multinational oil giant is vacating their 117-acre campus in Fairfax County. Locals report seeing movers hauling out bales and bales of blood-soaked cash amid the distinctive odor of brimstone.