Dude Gets Metro Map Tattooed On His Arm [Washington City Paper] I thought the metro map was the lamest tattoo ever, until I googled “lamest tattoo ever” and spent the last twenty minutes looking through the results. Metro map is still pretty lame though.
Vandals Topple Ten Commandments Monument [Huffington Post] My first reaction upon reading about this was to think, “I bet I’m Facebook friends with the people who did it!” (After an inspection of my friends list, I’ve gotten it narrowed down to two, three names.)
Ledroit Park Market For Sale! [Urban Turf DC] Would you like to own an upscale corner store (the liquor license would transfer with the sale!) in one of the city’s hottest neighborhoods, and live above it in a massive two-units-merged-into-one loft space? Of course you would! Too bad that it already got an offer and is as good as sold! Ha ha! (God, I’m horrible.)
Kegger House Rental Listing Irritates Clarendon Neighbors [ARLnow] The ad for this house describes it as “stumbling distance” from the Clarendon strip, but I must be reading it wrong, because it sounds like it’s saying you have to PAY a thousand a month to live there, but in all seriousness, they must mean that they’ll pay YOU a thousand a month to live there. Because no one would pay money to live off the Clarendon strip, right? RIGHT?!
Contractor Needed to Finish National Mall Levee [DCist] No big deal, the nation’s capital is just COMPLETELY VULNERABLE TO CATASTROPHIC FLOODING UNTIL IT’S FINISHED. I think this is going to be my new excuse when people chide me for drinking before 5PM. “We could be hit with a terrorist-induced flood attack any second, I’m living every day like it’s my last!!”