URBAN SCRAWL’S 10 MOST READ POSTS OF 2016

old-new-yearThe end of the year is a time for reflection, resolutions, and lowkey tooting of your own proverbial horn through year-end top ten lists.  So without further ado, here are our most-read posts from the last year, which in many cases received truly staggering numbers of views when you consider the subject matter.  (You’ll see what I mean.)

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10.  DC’s Secret History of Orgies

Ha ha, well of course this post got views.  It has the word “orgies” right there in the title.  People will click on anything that has the word “orgies” in it.  If you ever want to drive traffic to your website, just start throwing the word “orgies” around, and watch the page views add up.  Orgies orgies orgies.

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9.  Wintry Thoughts: Do Igloos Still Exist?

Well, yes, they do.  But who knows for how much longer?  In twenty years, there will probably be a companion post to this one, entitled “Climate Change Thoughts: What Were Igloos?”

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8.  How to Sell Used Furniture: Craigslist Alternatives

I knew that Craigslist had officially lost its good reputation when my mother started forwarding me emails containing highly questionable anecdotes about people who went to meet Craigslist sellers and “were never seen again!!!”  (Parental email forwards were totally the forerunner of “fake news.”)

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7.  How to Legally (Sort of) Sell Weed In DC

I bet most of the views this post got were from college bros who got their grades, saw they’d flunked out, realized they’d soon be living in their parents’ garage and/or basement, and immediately started researching potential careers.

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6.  The Trinidad Conundrum

A thoughtful read detailing why Trinidad might avoid the hyper-gentrification that hit Shaw, Mount Pleasant, U Street, et al.  (Fingers crossed.)

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5.  The Best Thrift Stores In DC

Full disclosure:  I reread this post while compiling this list and had a panicked moment when I realized I’d taken the most precious knowledge I have and just put it on the internet for all to see.  I almost took it down, but then I had a Gandhi-like moment of compassion and decided to gift it to the world.  You’re welcome.

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4.  5 Things DC Men Need to Do (Or Stop Doing)

I’d like to think that all these views came from thoughtful men who were into self-improvement and decided to do some internet research on how to be a better person, but we all know those men don’t exist.

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3.  The House In the Woods: Rockefeller Edition

How many of these clicks were from people trying to remember the name of that terrible Joss Whedon movie?  Hundreds, I’d bet.  The rest were likely from Jay Rockefeller himself reading the post and then sending it to his personal firm of lawyers to see if there’s any way he could sue me for it.

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2.  What It’s Really Like to (Legally) Buy Weed In DC

Come on, it’s DC – don’t tell me you don’t know literally dozens of people you could very easily picture waiting until their significant other falls asleep, sitting down to their computer, opening an incognito window, and furtively googling, “What is it like to buy weed in DC?”

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1.  The Best Abandoned Buildings In DC

Why are so many people trying to find abandoned buildings in DC?!  Who are you people?  Are you high school pranksters?  Illegal waste dumpers?  Squatters?  Devil worshipers?  Low-budget horror movie location scouts?  I’m officially puzzled, man.  2016 was such a strange year.

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