DO YOU LIKE CATS AS MUCH AS THE OWNER OF THIS HOUSE?

If you have a delirious all-consuming love for cats AND a borderline sociopathic disregard for the opinions of other people, I may have the dream home for you.

Located way out in the middle of unincorporated Concho, Arizona, and priced at a reasonable $240,000, this place takes ailurophilia way too far, and I say that as an unapologetic cat lover who has plush sheepskin catbeds bolted to all of my windowsills and who, at least once a month, while sitting in a bar or restaurant, will sniff the air and realize that one of the articles of clothing I put on that morning had been stealthily soaked down with cat urine at some point.  Let’s go to the photos …

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Oh, this quaint log house looks nice, I wonder what the inside looks li-

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*Struck speechless*

Note that those are all individual photos and cutouts attached to the wall.  Thousands of them.  Imagine the time and painstaking effort it must have taken to put them all up by hand.  I feel like even the cats who lived here must have been like, “come on now, don’t you think you’ve taken this a little too far?”

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“Come, let’s descend further into the abyss – er, Castle of Feline Wonder.”

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On one hand, this skywalk and the two stories of cat windowseats do look pretty ideal;  on the other hand, putting irresistible dangling cat toys above a working ceiling fan seems a bit dicey.

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This is the part of the open house where you start to wonder if this was a cat paradise or a cat prison.  Are those bunks?  And is that inexplicable hole in the floor their escape tunnel?

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I like how they have the word “CATS” inset into the wall up there, just in case anyone ever visits and still isn’t clear on what your main joy in life is.  “So, do you have any hobbies?”  *Silently points to wall inset*

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I stared at this photo for several minutes before realizing that’s probably a litter box cabinet.

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The bathroom is yet more evidence of just how profound this cat obsession was.  “Well, this here plain toilet brush holder is only $4.99, let’s just-”   “No!!!  I’ll special order a cat-themed one off the internet!!!”

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This photo actually makes me think that this house might be a hoax.  Having tons of narrow wall shelves with porcelain mugs sitting on them is an invitation for mayhem.  Cats would be batting those mugs off the shelves IMMEDIATELY.  According to news reports, the listing page for this house has been viewed over 1.6 million times, so all this cat stuff might just be the cleverest viral marketing scheme of 2017.

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Or, you know, this person might just be genuinely obsessed.  It wasn’t the crude hand-drawn “cat chef” mural that convinced me – no, look at the ceiling.  Imagine how long it took to put all those posters up there.  Standing at the very top of a 15-foot ladder, your neck cramping from looking straight up, your shoulders cramping from pressing tape onto the ceiling, then climbing all the way down, moving the ladder two feet, climbing back up, et cetera.

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This is an especially telling photo, because you can see not only that each photo on the wall was taped up individually, but that, as you can tell from the curling, they’ve been up there a looooooong time.  Also, note that they even painstakingly put up photos behind the water heater.

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“Day 543: Jumped on trampoline while thinking about cats.  Day 544:  Jumped on trampoline while thinking about cats.  Day 545:  Jumped on trampoline while thinking about cats…”

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Normally, I’d assume that concrete block wall was just unfinished, but in this case I think it’s safe to assume they’re supposed to be cat ears, right?

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Ah, what a view!  I can sort of see how staring off into that brutally inhospitable nothingness for long enough would make you wake up one morning and say, “you know what I’m going to do?  I’m going to cover the interior of my house with hundreds of thousands of cat photos.”
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One thought on “DO YOU LIKE CATS AS MUCH AS THE OWNER OF THIS HOUSE?

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