Forget Open Houses – Some Agents Are Shooting Entire Movies to Sell Mansions  [Los Angeles Times]  I cringed through this entire article.  Listen – if boxed wine and chocolate chip cookie aerosol spray doesn’t close the deal, they didn’t really want to buy in the first place.

The Woodner Is a Metaphor for DC  [Citylab]  I once went to a party in this building, and my overwhelming impression was of that hotel from “The Shining.”  When the elevator doors opened, I braced for a tidal wave of blood.  (In my defense, I was drunk.)

The Georgetown-Rosslyn Gondola Is Inching Closer to Reality  [Greater Greater Washington]  This gondola is like one of those extremely rare ideas you come up with while high with friends, laugh uncontrollably about, and then the next morning, you’re like, “wait a second, that’s actually not a terrible idea.”

A Tree as Old as America Just Fell In DC  [Washington Post]  This is the kind of thing that makes you realize that life is short, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, and our time here is precious.  That settles it, I’m quitting this diet.

Five DC Homes for Sale That Come with Home Theaters  [Curbed DC]  I almost wish I had a home theater just so I could pack my friends into it, hit the lights, and then push play on a low-res pirated cam I downloaded off the internet.

Could a London-Style High Rise Fire Happen In DC?  [WAMU]  Sadly, it seems that DC hasn’t adopted the latest fire safety standards for high rises.  I’ve never been happier to live in a basement.

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