If you’ve ever sold your house, you know how hard it is to stage the photos just right. No pets, no people, no sign of human habitation – oh, but make it look warm and inviting! It’s tough. But I’m sure you did a great job. Unless one of the houses below is yours, in which case you did an absolutely terrible job and should feel absolutely terrible. Note: As you chuckle at these photos, keep in mind that in this market, the people who used these photos probably still sold the place in a matter of days and walked away with a literal briefcase full of cash.
This is the photo you take when your mom is like, “I don’t care if your friends are waiting in the car, you are not going to the beach until you finish taking the photos for your real estate listing!”
I stared at this photo for a full minute, trying to figure out what was going on in it, and then I got really dizzy and fell out of my chair. Listing agent: MC Escher.
“Lots of light. Open floor plan. A bit drafty. Zero bedrooms. Zero rooms. No walls or roof. No house. Nothing. Just a void of pure emptiness. Life is meaningless. Please call to arrange viewing.”
“And for my next song … well heck, anyone got any requests?”
The only house where you can simultaneously go to the bathroom, wash dishes, and wave to your neighbor.
“I wonder what my life would be like if I move into this house? Will I like the neighbors? Will I fit into the neighborhood? Will I prosper? Will I find happiness? Will I … wait, what’s that written on the wall?”
Next time someone complains about their apartment, show them this photo. Actually, next time someone complains about ANYTHING, show them this photo.
If you’ve ever wanted to know what it’s like to take LSD, but you don’t feel like dealing with the 12 hours of intense nausea, excavating buried childhood trauma, and talking to trees, this room is basically what taking LSD is like.
I’m 100% certain that digging a whole new pool would be less trouble than cleaning this one.
This one’s a meta-fail. It’s a photo taken of a photo on the internet, that the agent then uploaded into the listing, on the internet. I’ve never seen anyone put so much effort into being incompetent.
If you stick around until the end of the open house, and seem like an “openminded dude,” the seller has some “home movies” on VHS that he’ll sell you out of the trunk of his car.
“Landscaping by Satan.”
Note that what you see in the photo is the entire place. If you like “breakfast in bed,” maybe you should consider trying “doing literally everything in bed.”