This beautifully renovated home is located in Barnaby Woods, which sounds like the name of a pirate who wears really big flashy velvet hats and has a pencil-thin mustache, but is actually a sedate neighborhood in Upper Northwest. It’s miles away (literally) from any bars or restaurants, but it’s right next to the park and full of beautiful family homes like this one. Officially named “The Treehouse” (which is puzzling because it’s not, you know, a treehouse), it was renovated by the prestigious architecture firm Meditch Murphey. (Guy at your future cocktail party who has no idea who they are: “Oh right, they also did that other thing, didn’t they? That thing with the design? I love them.”)
The main level is wide-open and filled with light; when you enter, there’s a sitting/media room to your immediate right, with an entire wall of built-ins. If you don’t already own at least 250 books, you better go out and buy some or visitors are going to whisper to each other, after they leave your house, “did you see all those empty bookshelves? What a philistine.” Adjacent to that is a sprawling living room, which is oriented around the brick fireplace – great for a cozy fire in the winter, or a roaring fire in July when you have twelve hours to sweat off that last six pounds of water weight to get into that bridesmaid’s dress. A little counter-slash-bar opens onto the beautiful kitchen, which has blonde wood cabinets, stainless steel appliances, acres of counterspace, and those semi-transparent frosted-window cabinets that remind you of every shower scene in those late night Cinemax movies you watched after your parents went to bed.
The kitchen opens onto the spectacular dining room, which is basically a long gallery with windows and glass doors on all three sides. If making accidental eye contact during dinner with your Weed-Whackin’ neighbor next door is going to ruin your appetite, you might want to invest in some nice curtains, or at least some contractor bags you can duct-tape over the windows during meals. The sliding glass doors in the dining room open onto the landscaped backyard; there’s a quasi-patio made up of a couple dozen cement tiles set into the yard, with a couple inches of grass in between each one. It’s like someone sat down and thought, “what’s the most infuriating possible lawn-mowing situation we can come up with?” It does look cool, though. There’s also a legit cement patio, and a rolling, tree-lined yard, where you can banish your kids when “they’ve spent too much time inside” i.e. you and your significant other have a sudden and urgent need for some adult time after the semi-transparent frosted-window cabinets in the kitchen set you reminiscing in detail about those old Skinemax movies.
Back inside, you go up the open staircase to the second floor, the landing of which is open to the outside. The master bedroom has a peaked ceiling that could’ve been designed with Instagram likes in mind and a full-length glass wall that looks out onto the private balcony. There’s also a small lofted area above that’d be perfect for storage, or for hiding from home invaders in a pre-cellphone-era TV movie-type scenario. In the master bath is a huge glass-walled shower with two shower heads on opposite walls. I’m going to go ahead and believe they’re for one person to alternate between a hot and a cold shower, because I don’t want to live in a universe where couples take simultaneous showers. I just don’t. And finally, the lower level is a luxurious rec room (with, believe or not, a skylight), that’d be perfect for a “man cave,” though the obvious downside to that idea is that you’d then have to use the phrase “man cave” in conversation. (I prefer “dude dungeon.”)
6404 31st Place NW
4 Bedrooms, 4.5 Baths
Photos courtesy MRIS; listing courtesy of TTR Sotheby’s, 202-333-1212