“The walk-in closet is huge, with an awesome modular shelving system that probably won’t get used since everyone just throws their clothes on the floor, and the master bath features twin basins and a jetted tub, so you can get that pulse of warm water riiiiiight where you want it.  (Get your mind out of the gutter.)”

DC10250559_1This beautiful Edwardian overlooks Rock Creek Park, so you’ll always have a convenient place to dump your old kitchen appliances in the middle of the night.  (That was a joke;  don’t illegally dump your appliances anywhere other than the White House front lawn.)  I used to date a girl who lived a block from this house, and even though I’m the opposite of an outdoorsman – I have preternaturally good skin because I haven’t woken up, much less left the house, before noon in more than a decade – we spent a lot of time hiking and biking in the park, and I have to admit it was really nice.  Even if you don’t actually set foot in the park, the air seems fresher when you’re next to all these trees, though now that I’m thinking back, in spring you can literally watch massive pollen clouds drifting towards you like post-nuclear ash, and there’s nothing you can do except sit there, paralyzed with dread, knowing that in a few moments you’re going to be sneezing convulsively as ropes of clear mucus shoot out of your nose.  Still, living by the park is still a net gain …

This house has a roofless front porch, which is perfect for reading the paper or just kicking back and being melted into a puddle by the July sun.  Inside, the living room sports an open floor plan and track lighting, which I’m 100% on board with after years and years of recessed lighting.  Two oversized windows look onto the porch and the park, and a railing-less landing leads upstairs.  Further on is the long, spacious dining room, which is separated from the kitchen by a waist-high breakfast bar, so if you need some ketchup or something, your significant other can just fling it at you from the kitchen and then storm upstairs, and you won’t even be able to say anything about it, because you PROMISED to stop liking all of Ashley from Marketing’s photos on Instagram, but you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?  Now look what you’ve done.

The kitchen has tons of long countertops, stainless steel appliances, and glass-front cabinets, so visitors will be able to tell at a glance if you’re a real adult or an impostor who still eats dinosaur shapes mac-n-cheese.  Past the kitchen is, arguably, the jewel of the house – the family room, which sports a translucent ceiling that diffuses incoming light so the room’s filled with a soft glow.  I have a feeling the translucent ceiling will replace the skylight, as more and more neighborhood teenagers buy aerial drones outfitted with HD cameras.  The family room opens, via several pairs of glass doors, onto the back patio, so you get light from above and from the side.

Upstairs, the master suite has translucent walls separating the bedroom from the master bath and the walk-in closets, which makes all the rooms seem a little brighter.  I’m all for an all-translucent house.  The walk-in closet is huge, with an awesome modular shelving system that probably won’t get used since everyone just throws their clothes on the floor, and the master bath features twin basins and a jetted tub, so you can get that pulse of warm water riiiiiight where you want it.  (Get your mind out of the gutter.)  There’s also a small, bright office for when you work from home, and a private deck where you can have a nice peaceful espresso in the morning, and then shoot roman candles at passing buses.  And finally, out back is a lush, private garden with a flagstone patio.  Having a garden behind your house might seem redundant when you live across the street from one of the best urban parks in the country, but you might change your mind after you’re banned from Rock Creek for repeated appliance dumping.

2039 Park Road NW
3 Bedrooms, 3.5 Baths
$1,499,000

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Photos courtesy MRIS; listing courtesy Washington Fine Properties, 202-944-5000

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