“Lots of people call their home a “castle,” but then when you go visit them, they have barbecue sauce-stained wall-to-wall carpeting and the living room centerpiece is a PS4 on a milk crate.  This place, though, is legitimately castle-like.  It’s at the top of a literal tower, for starters;  you could hold off an invasion for weeks from up here, assuming you had plenty of arrows, and that the barbarians were too stupid to just go on in the front door there.”

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Lots of people call their home a “castle,” but then when you go visit them, they have barbecue sauce-stained wall-to-wall carpeting and the living room centerpiece is a PS4 on a milk crate.  This place, though, is legitimately castle-like.  It’s at the top of a literal tower, for starters;  you could hold off an invasion for weeks from up here, assuming you had plenty of arrows, and that the barbarians were too stupid to just go on in the front door there.

Inside, the space is open and loft-like; this used to be a two-bedroom unit but they knocked down a few walls to open it up.  You enter into the main living room, which is flooded with natural light – it’s an end unit with three exposures, so invest in some drapes or just wear sunglasses all the time like that IT guy at my last job who listened to death metal and had a barcode tattoo on the back of his neck.  There’s also a beautiful working fireplace, so stock up on those colored flame novelty logs.  At the front of the house is the circular living room, which sports exposed brick and several windows.  If you don’t buy a bunch of curved furniture specifically made for circular rooms, I’m going to be very disappointed in you.

The kitchen is right off this area;  it’s got black marble counters and top-of-the-line stainless steel appliances.  It’s not the  hugest kitchen you’ve ever seen, but it’s more than adequate.  I actually like a modestly-proportioned kitchen;  the more counter space you give me, the more unopened junk mail and dirty dishes I’m going to cram on there.  Plus, those big chef’s kitchens really make you feel like you’re obligated to cook.  I can just feel them staring at me expectantly, pressuring me to have a dinner party for 12.  Every time you got takeout, it’d be like having an affair.

Up a flight of hardwood stairs is the lofted master bedroom, which is in the very top of the tower.  There’s a real sense of height up here, like you’re in a crow’s nest.  There are also exposed brick walls and a railed overlook from which you can silently stare down at your significant other until they look up from their crossword puzzle and say, “will you please stop doing that, you’re creeping me out.”  Downstairs, the master bath is sleek and modern, and the tiled shower has a large skylight in it, which for me is one of the hallmarks of a truly top notch master bath, along with heated floors and when they put the toilet in its own little closet, complete with a windowless door.  Out in the main area, there’s also a triangular, sloping closet cleverly built under the stairs, which in this market you could rent to an intern for like $1800 a month, easy.

In the rear of the place is the space that used to be the second bedroom.  It’s now wide-open, ready to be used as a den or a home office area or storage for the 10+ bikes you’ve accumulated even though you only ride a bike maybe three times a year.  And finally, through the back door is a fine wooden deck overlooking the neighborhood.  It’s the perfect spot for a morning drink or an evening cocktail, and since you’re the very top unit, you don’t even have to put pants on.

1938 Biltmore Street NW Unit A
1 Bedroom, 2 Baths
$741,000

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All photos courtesy MRIS; listing courtesy DCRE, 202-299-1100

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