When I was growing up, my father insisted on doing all the house repairs and upgrades himself.  “How hard can it be?”  He would ask, and hours later he’d be nursing a mild electrical burn while my mom looked through the yellow pages for a legit contractor.  The house I grew up in was filled with light switches you had to wiggle as you turned on, lumpy, rippled wall-to-wall carpeting, and doors that opened the wrong way.  (The door of my bedroom closet opened into the closet.)

But as bad as some of those projects turned out, none were as bad as these.  Culled from the greaseball1987 Instagram account, these fails will hopefully convince you that, no, you won’t be able to just slap together that deck in a weekend (or a year, for that matter).


I feel personally attacked by this photo, because to be honest I would totally argue that, “who cares if the grate isn’t the exact same size of the duct, no one will notice!”  (Everyone will notice.)  Bonus points for the second duct, just around the corner, sporting a differently-sized, but still totally wrong grate.


Have we all gotten impatient with the tiny thread of caulk that comes out of a caulk gun?  Yes.  Should the person wielding the broom in this photo go to federal prison?  Also yes.


“You know who I really hate?”  Said the guy who built this railing.  “People who use railings.”


The original caption for this photo said that wadded-up cloth is a pair of women’s underwear, which would still be the second most ludicrous thing in this photo, behind that utterly useless vertical screw.  Is that screw there to keep people from stealing the wadded-up underwear?


In this kitchen, asking your significant other to grab the skillet from above the stove would qualify, in a court of law, as attempted murder.


If you installed the doorstopper before the woodwork, I’m betting you installed it before the door too.  Someone must really love that sproingy sound these make.


Yeah, sure, run a bunch of electrical cords up and down the staircase.  I can’t imagine how that would go wrong.


You know, I made a solemn pledge to myself, when I right-clicked this photo, that I wouldn’t make a “half-bath” joke, but here we are.


“Hey, I need to turn the hallway light on, where are the tweezers?”  Also, if you open both those doors at the same time, it tears a hole in the space-time continuum.


It’s sort of amazing that someone knew that little rubber knob went behind the door, but didn’t know what it was supposed to do back there.  That’s such a tiny little crevice of ignorance to occupy.


You will never convince me that hard drugs weren’t involved in the installation of this switchplate.


You know what?  This is a good idea.  I want this in my house.  Hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

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