EVEN THIS RECORD-BREAKING $135 MILLION MANSION HAD AN AWKWARD PHASE

We all had a few years when we weren’t, perhaps, at our personal best, style-wise.  For me it was the first part of high school.  My parents still have a school photo of me, dressed in head to toe “Charlotte Hornets” gear, with a perfect trapezoid of tanned skin in the middle of my otherwise pale forehead, from wearing a backwards baseball cap all summer.  Now, if you saw that photo, you might smirk, but you wouldn’t come right out and mock it.  You wouldn’t riff on it.  But if we were talking about a house?  If we were talking about embarrassing old photos of a $135 million Beverly Hills mansion?  Why wouldn’t we mock embarrassing photos of a mansion? EVEN THIS RECORD-BREAKING $135 MILLION MANSION HAD AN AWKWARD PHASE

And who wouldn’t be jealous of a house like this?  The entire first floor is a massive entertaining space that the listing says is “perfect for hosting fundraisers!”  (The first fundraiser I’d host here would be themed, “I just bought a $4 million house in Blagden Alley, for god’s sake help me pay my mortgage.”)

And who wouldn’t be jealous of a house like this?  The entire first floor is a massive entertaining space that the listing says is “perfect for hosting fundraisers!”  (The first fundraiser I’d host here would be themed, “I just bought a $4 million house in Blagden Alley, for god’s sake help me pay my mortgage.”)

TOILETS WITH A VIEW: BALLIN’ BATHROOM EXPERIENCES

Houses come in all shapes and sizes. Some are big, some are small. When you say “come over to my place,” it might mean drop by my 600-square-foot very humble abode or join me for a dinner party in my 4,000 square-foot sprawling Victorian mansion. However, no matter where your home is or what it looks like (inside or out), most homes have one thing in common: a place to go to the loo…. TOILETS WITH A VIEW: BALLIN’ BATHROOM EXPERIENCES

AMAZON WILL DELIVER A HOUSE DIRECTLY TO YOU (AND YES, SHIPPING IS FREE)

I had an unusual experience the other day – I went to a clothes store to buy a pair of jeans, and when the first pair I tried on didn’t quite fit, I tried on several other pairs until I found the right ones.  It was a such a weird contrast to my usual method of shopping, which is to buy a pair online, cross my fingers until they get to my house, and then immediately send them back when they don’t fit or even remotely resemble what I thought I was buying.  And you know what?  I’m probably going to keep buying stuff online even though it’s not ideal, because it’s 2018, and I’m sure you’ll agree that leaving the house and interacting with other people is something we should avoid like the massage booth at a Renaissance Faire.  (Long story.) AMAZON WILL DELIVER A HOUSE DIRECTLY TO YOU (AND YES, SHIPPING IS FREE)

DC DEVELOPMENT(S): WEST HALF

Take me out to the ball game,

Take me out with the crowd…

Buy some peanuts and Cracker Jacks,

I don’t care if I never get back…

Is this the song DC will be singing as they root, root, root for the home teams of JBG and ODA Architecture as they complete work on West Half, a development located at the foot of the Washington Nationals major league baseball stadium ? It might as well be. DC DEVELOPMENT(S): WEST HALF

THE HOMES OF FAMOUS WRITERS TELL YOU A LOT ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITIES

Norman Mailer’s former house in Brooklyn Heights is on the market right now, for $2.5 million and, like the homes of many famous writers, the place is a weirdly accurate reflection of Mailer’s personality.  Mailer’s books, from his World War 2 novel “The Naked and the Dead” to more controversial works like the bloody, x-rated “The Deer Park” and the (arguably) anti-feminist “The Prisoner of Sex,” were saturated with machismo and contrarianism.  He was a troll, but he trolled himself too – Mailer, who was terrified of heights, filled the atrium of his apartment with rickety catwalks and crow’s-nests. THE HOMES OF FAMOUS WRITERS TELL YOU A LOT ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITIES

FORGET BRICKS – INTRODUCING HOMES MADE BY 3D PRINTERS

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When you mention evolution some might think of apes, or whales with little limbs looking sad, drawn across the page of your old science book. Or you might think of the Internet and get sidetracked into the thought process of how in the heck you survived without Google or a handheld database of everything you could ever need (or want to know). I bet if we played a word association game, you’d have to get pretty far down the list before “evolution” led to a light bulb that correlated with the word “printer.” But, given a closer look, I think anyone would be hard-pressed to disagree –– printers have come a long way, baby. FORGET BRICKS – INTRODUCING HOMES MADE BY 3D PRINTERS