We all had a few years when we weren’t, perhaps, at our personal best, style-wise. For me it was the first part of high school. My parents still have a school photo of me, dressed in head to toe “Charlotte Hornets” gear, with a perfect trapezoid of tanned skin in the middle of my otherwise pale forehead, from wearing a backwards baseball cap all summer. Now, if you saw that photo, you might smirk, but you wouldn’t come right out and mock it. You wouldn’t riff on it. But if we were talking about a house? If we were talking about embarrassing old photos of a $135 million Beverly Hills mansion? Why wouldn’t we mock embarrassing photos of a mansion? … EVEN THIS RECORD-BREAKING $135 MILLION MANSION HAD AN AWKWARD PHASE
When the director of “The Blair Witch Project” pushed to film a horror movie in the abandoned Frederick Towne Mall in Frederick, Maryland, the local film office described the space as a “horror filmmaker’s dream. It’s filled with dark corners, back alleys, and remnants of civilization, basically.” And he was right; the inside of the abandoned mall had dark, cluttered corridors, buzzing neon lights that were still on even though the mall had been closed for years, and bolt-cuttered storefronts. But Frederick Towne Mall only looked like a mall of horrors; in Akron, Ohio, there’s an actual mall of horrors. … IS THIS ABANDONED MALL OF HORRORS A CREEPY OUTLIER OR A SIGN OF THINGS TO COME?
… And who wouldn’t be jealous of a house like this? The entire first floor is a massive entertaining space that the listing says is “perfect for hosting fundraisers!” (The first fundraiser I’d host here would be themed, “I just bought a $4 million house in Blagden Alley, for god’s sake help me pay my mortgage.”)