DOCKLESS BIKESHARES PROVE YET AGAIN THAT WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS

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Who would’ve thought the age-old argument over human nature would’ve been settled by something as mundane as dockless bikeshare bicycles? The theory was that if people are essentially good and well-meaning, then they’d treat the bikes with respect and return them to their proper place even though no one is watching. On the other hand, if people are essentially bad and corrupt, they’d trash the bikes and throw them in the canal just because they can. Guess what they’ve been doing. DOCKLESS BIKESHARES PROVE YET AGAIN THAT WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS

GET IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT AT MIRACLE ON 7TH STREET

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The holiday season is a time for friends, family and feeling festive. One of the best spots to do that in Washington is at the Miracle On 7th Street pop-up bar in Shaw. The whimsical bar is now in its third year in business in D.C. (the idea is based off a similar idea in New York City) and ready to charm guests with all new kinds of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Winter cheer. GET IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT AT MIRACLE ON 7TH STREET

THE WORST COMMUTE IN DC IS THE WORST COMMUTE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD

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A recent article that ranked DC as having the worst commute in the nation made me remember when, for a whole year, I had the worst commute in DC, and thus the worst commute in America, and possibly the entire world. Shaw to Herndon, via two trains (the Green to the Orange) and then a Metrobus from the West Falls Church station for a last stretch that took me within five minutes of Dulles. Two hours each way, Monday through Friday.

I’d get out of bed at 7:40, often still slightly drunk, shower and dress in fifteen minutes, and be on a train at 8. I usually woke up around 8:15, somewhere between Mount Vernon Square and Archives. If I gained full consciousness before Gallery Place, I’d sprint out to catch the Red Line over to Metro Center, a shortcut that allowed me to skip the dogleg down to L’Enfant and over and up through Smithsonian and Federal Triangle, a savings of four stops and around ten minutes. Occasionally this shortcut backfired, if the Red Line was delayed or packed to capacity, and I’d be stranded in the Gallery Place station crowd, mentally tracking the progress of the train I should’ve stayed on, which inevitably led to mentally tracking the life I should’ve been living, an alternate existence that was short on details other than the fact that in that parallel dimension I was still in bed.

THE WORST COMMUTE IN DC IS THE WORST COMMUTE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD

THE SECOND LARGEST FORECLOSURE IN HISTORY JUST GOT AUCTIONED OFF FOR (MILLIONS OF) PENNIES ON THE DOLLAR

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If you’ve ever felt bad about your student loan balance, or the pesky disconnection notices Pepco keeps sending you (I’ll pay when I feel like it!), or that credit card bill you stopped paying off that’s the reason you never answer a call from an unknown number, well, keep in mind that some deadbeat in New York City recently lost a $51 million condo to foreclosure.  Next to that, your debt troubles are a drop in the ocean. THE SECOND LARGEST FORECLOSURE IN HISTORY JUST GOT AUCTIONED OFF FOR (MILLIONS OF) PENNIES ON THE DOLLAR

TINY HOMES FOR RENT: A SMALL ESCAPE JUST OUTSIDE THE DISTRICT

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You might not believe me, but here it goes: I was into tiny houses before they were cool. Yep, I was just an unknown trendsetter who was living small instead of large, spread out over 1200 square feet (in the best of times) and something like 600 square feet (in the worst of times). It might have been because I couldn’t afford anything different, but yet, there I was…scraping by, yet light-years ahead of my time. Still, I must admit, that like some people, the tiny house phenomenon does make me scratch my head a bit. Bigger isn’t always better, but when it comes to personal space where I can be myself and lounge about in my unmentionables whilst eating a Pinterest fail mug brownie, then yeah, the bigger the better. TINY HOMES FOR RENT: A SMALL ESCAPE JUST OUTSIDE THE DISTRICT

OWN THIS 48-ACRE PRIVATE EAST COAST ISLAND FOR ONLY $125 MILLION

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Back in the Gilded Age, all the nouveau riche robber barons of the east coast engaged in the sort of competition that only nouveau riche robber barons would ever consider engaging in;  who could build the most ridiculously lavish mansion on Long Island?  A banker built a fireproof castle on a man-made hill (the hill alone took two years to build), and JP Morgan’s son built a massive Georgian mansion that later became (supposedly) haunted, and was eventually dynamited, but the most over-the-top house is probably this one.  (Note: Gatsby’s laughably vulgar mansion in the “Great Gatsby” was directly modeled on these houses.) OWN THIS 48-ACRE PRIVATE EAST COAST ISLAND FOR ONLY $125 MILLION

DC’S HIPPEST HOTELS WORTHY OF A STAYCATION

I don’t know when the term “staycation” was invented, or who was able to twist the sad notion that they were just too tired to go anywhere on vacation into a hip thing that people strived toward, but….props to the 21st century for this one. If you’ve ever gotten back from vacation having seen a new slice of the world but honestly feeling like you probably should have just slept the whole time, you’re not alone – the act of actually going and doing is, quite frankly, exhausting. DC’S HIPPEST HOTELS WORTHY OF A STAYCATION