DC STARTUP SPOTLIGHT: TRANSITSCREEN

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Mass transit: It’s great to have, in a I-love-to-brag-to-my-friends-that-live-in-places-with-less-planned-infrastructure kinda way. But, also it’s the root of 105.3% of your recurring complaints re: living in a city. The truth about taking the DC metro is that it’s all fun and games until you actually need it. Then you’re left huffing and puffing, running for the Red Line only to find out that it’s actually not working and you’ll have to walk to your destination, starting by putting one foot in front of the another in the direction from which you came. Yes, the underground doesn’t come without its trials and tribulations. However, one DC startup is out to make train-bound commutes a little easier, with the gift of foresight. The company? TransitScreen. DC STARTUP SPOTLIGHT: TRANSITSCREEN

“This amazing modernist home was designed by Winthrop Faulkner, a name that’ll raise eyebrows at a cocktail party even among people who have no idea who he is.  That name just sounds distinguished.  It’s the name of a man who wears linen suits and will tell you to your face that you’re not good enough to date his daughter.  This house he’s designed (originally for a labor organizer) is a passive solar home, which means that it gets electricity from the sun and that when you ask where it wants to eat, it’ll say “I don’t care,” but then complain about wherever you pick.”

“This amazing modernist home was designed by Winthrop Faulkner, a name that’ll raise eyebrows at a cocktail party even among people who have no idea who he is.  That name just sounds distinguished.  It’s the name of a man who wears linen suits and will tell you to your face that you’re not good enough to date his daughter.  This house he’s designed (originally for a labor organizer) is a passive solar home, which means that it gets electricity from the sun and that when you ask where it wants to eat, it’ll say “I don’t care,” but then complain about wherever you pick.”

EVEN THIS RECORD-BREAKING $135 MILLION MANSION HAD AN AWKWARD PHASE

We all had a few years when we weren’t, perhaps, at our personal best, style-wise.  For me it was the first part of high school.  My parents still have a school photo of me, dressed in head to toe “Charlotte Hornets” gear, with a perfect trapezoid of tanned skin in the middle of my otherwise pale forehead, from wearing a backwards baseball cap all summer.  Now, if you saw that photo, you might smirk, but you wouldn’t come right out and mock it.  You wouldn’t riff on it.  But if we were talking about a house?  If we were talking about embarrassing old photos of a $135 million Beverly Hills mansion?  Why wouldn’t we mock embarrassing photos of a mansion? EVEN THIS RECORD-BREAKING $135 MILLION MANSION HAD AN AWKWARD PHASE

And who wouldn’t be jealous of a house like this?  The entire first floor is a massive entertaining space that the listing says is “perfect for hosting fundraisers!”  (The first fundraiser I’d host here would be themed, “I just bought a $4 million house in Blagden Alley, for god’s sake help me pay my mortgage.”)

And who wouldn’t be jealous of a house like this?  The entire first floor is a massive entertaining space that the listing says is “perfect for hosting fundraisers!”  (The first fundraiser I’d host here would be themed, “I just bought a $4 million house in Blagden Alley, for god’s sake help me pay my mortgage.”)

TOILETS WITH A VIEW: BALLIN’ BATHROOM EXPERIENCES

Houses come in all shapes and sizes. Some are big, some are small. When you say “come over to my place,” it might mean drop by my 600-square-foot very humble abode or join me for a dinner party in my 4,000 square-foot sprawling Victorian mansion. However, no matter where your home is or what it looks like (inside or out), most homes have one thing in common: a place to go to the loo…. TOILETS WITH A VIEW: BALLIN’ BATHROOM EXPERIENCES