I was at an open house recently for some sprawling Palisades mansion with six or seven or eight bedrooms, and a family room, a living room, a sitting room, and a great room, and as I walked down yet another endless hallway, I thought, “this must be the biggest house in DC. Also, they should give us Segways for these house tours.” Turns out, it wasn’t even close to being the biggest house in DC. … THE BIGGEST HOUSE IN DC IS SMALLER THAN THE GARAGE OF THE BIGGEST HOUSE IN THE WORLD
When a recent study found that 20001, right here in DC, was the second-most gentrified zip code in the entire nation, my first thought was, “they must have miscalculated, because no other zip code could be more gentrified.” I should know – I was there for more or less the entire process.
I moved into 20001 in 2003. My girlfriend and I rented a bedroom in a two bedroom apartment on 6th Street from a recently divorced 29-year-old New England society type who’d spent the previous decade living on a school bus with her ex-husband. (The owner of the house, a retired World Bank employee, lived in Ethiopia.) After work – she was an office temp – she’d come home and write poetry at her desk, eating antidepressants out of assorted sample packs she got from her doctor. She told us the neighborhood was bad – she had two large dogs “for protection” – but really it just seemed deserted. There were nice cars parked on the street, Jettas and Volvos, but I never saw the owners. They stayed barricaded in their houses, day and night, waiting for their property values to increase. … LOOKING BACK AT DC’S MOST GENTRIFIED ZIP CODE
James Clark is a former high school dropout from Texas who became a billionaire after he founded the companies behind Netscape, the first mainstream internet browser, and WebMD, the first mainstream website to make you break out in a cold sweat at 3AM by convincing you that your headache is caused by a brain tumor. Although Netscape failed and WebMD is pretty much garbage, Clark is still a billionaire because, well, that’s how Silicon Valley works. Clark races yachts (of course he does), married a Victoria’s Secret model (of course he did!), and owns some of the finest properties in the world, from Bunny Mellon’s New York City townhouse, to this historic Palm Beach oceanfront property, which is now for sale. Interested? It’s listed at $95,000,000. You couldn’t even afford the pool cleaning fees. Looking at photos is still free though (pending the repeal of net neutrality). … THE MARK ZUCKERBERG OF THE 90s IS SELLING HIS RIDICULOUSLY PALATIAL FLORIDA ESTATE
I always say that the fastest way to ruin a relationship is to move in together. Nothing kills the spark of romance like discovering that your significant other is a secret hoarder who takes 45 minute showers and puts their clipped toenails in the potted plants. And yet cohabitation is widely accepted as a necessary step in “real” coupledom. Imagine my surprise when it turned out that science supported my side. … STUDIES CONFIRM THAT EVERYONE SHOULD LIVE ALONE, EVEN (ESPECIALLY) IF YOU’RE MARRIED