“Oh, and this house has a parlor, which is a small room at the front of the house where you can visit with people you don’t like enough to invite into the main part of your house (not even joking). Keep your cat’s litter box in there, and some backless wooden barstools, and even the chattiest guest will leave after five minutes or so.”

“Oh, and this house has a parlor, which is a small room at the front of the house where you can visit with people you don’t like enough to invite into the main part of your house (not even joking). Keep your cat’s litter box in there, and some backless wooden barstools, and even the chattiest guest will leave after five minutes or so.”

LAST MINUTE SHOPPING: GIFTS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANY CITY SLICKER

dcreholiday

Ah, here we are again! The holiday season. No matter how many cookies I cram in during training season, it seems that the holidays still come far before I am ready. Usually, I’m just minding my business, trying to sing to Justin Bieber loud enough so that it doubles as therapy but discreetly enough that I don’t draw unwanted attention and then BAM, out of nowhere Jose Feliciano wants to wish me a merry Christmas from the bottom of his heart. And he does so way more times than I personally would deem necessary. LAST MINUTE SHOPPING: GIFTS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANY CITY SLICKER

WHERE TO TAKE VISITORS YOU SECRETLY HATE

When friends or family members I actually like visit me, I have a long and exhaustively tested list of places where I can take them, the kinds of out-of-the-way insider gems you won’t find on any “best in DC” lists.  The problem is, I don’t actually like everyone who visits me.  You know how it is: people you haven’t talked to since high school message you on Facebook to tell you they’re coming into town with their four kids in tow, or your irritating aunt and uncle from Indiana are blowing through town for a biker rally against “reverse racism” (lol), and you’re on the hook for a night or two of hosting.  You don’t want to take them to your good places, not only because it would ruin your reputation there, but also because of the whole “pearls before swine” thing. WHERE TO TAKE VISITORS YOU SECRETLY HATE

“The living room area is sprawling and open, with high ceilings, recessed lighting, and a fireplace. That area flows gracefully into the large gourmet kitchen, which sports a ton of counterspace, as well as at least an entire year’s tuition at a decent private college worth of high-end stainless steel appliances.”

“The living room area is sprawling and open, with high ceilings, recessed lighting, and a fireplace. That area flows gracefully into the large gourmet kitchen, which sports a ton of counterspace, as well as at least an entire year’s tuition at a decent private college worth of high-end stainless steel appliances.”