If I go to a $3 million Georgetown rowhome, I’m usually thinking, “sure, this is really nice, but on a fundamental level, it’s basically the house I live in minus wall-to-wall carpeting, black mold, lead paint, and a huge hole in the shower wall with a trash bag duct taped over it.”  Which is true, as far as that goes.  But once in a while, I see a place that’s unique enough that I actually do start to covet it, sometimes quite intensely, which leads me down a spiral that starts with googling “am i too old to go to law school,” and then three or four beers later, “how much prison time do you get for bank robbery.”

If I go to a $3 million Georgetown rowhome, I’m usually thinking, “sure, this is really nice, but on a fundamental level, it’s basically the house I live in minus wall-to-wall carpeting, black mold, lead paint, and a huge hole in the shower wall with a trash bag duct taped over it.”  Which is true, as far as that goes.  But once in a while, I see a place that’s unique enough that I actually do start to covet it, sometimes quite intensely, which leads me down a spiral that starts with googling “am i too old to go to law school,” and then three or four beers later, “how much prison time do you get for bank robbery.”

“Upstairs, the first master bedroom also has its own private deck, and the master Porcelanosa bath features twin basins, a fantastic soaking tub, and even a toilet that’s “cool.”  That shows you the attention to detail that went into this place;  I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a “cool” toilet.  Now I’m racked with insecurity that my own toilet is super lame.”

“Upstairs, the first master bedroom also has its own private deck, and the master Porcelanosa bath features twin basins, a fantastic soaking tub, and even a toilet that’s “cool.”  That shows you the attention to detail that went into this place;  I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a “cool” toilet.  Now I’m racked with insecurity that my own toilet is super lame.”

“Places like this do kind of throw me off though, because they are obtainable. Even if I couldn’t get a mortgage (and I definitely couldn’t get a mortgage – when my landlord checked my credit, he said “it literally could not be worse”), I could probably beg and guilt various wealthy friends and family members and get the money together. Nice, affordable apartments actually make me sweaty and nervous, like when the married couples in your social circle maneuvers you into a cab with the only other single person in your group.”

“Places like this do kind of throw me off though, because they are obtainable. Even if I couldn’t get a mortgage (and I definitely couldn’t get a mortgage – when my landlord checked my credit, he said “it literally could not be worse”), I could probably beg and guilt various wealthy friends and family members and get the money together. Nice, affordable apartments actually make me sweaty and nervous, like when the married couples in your social circle maneuvers you into a cab with the only other single person in your group.”