“The recently-updated master suite opens onto a private terrace that’s perfect for an afternoon lounge, late night smoke, or storing a broken down ’89 Mustang that you intend to restore but never quite get around to, and is an embarrassingly spot-on metaphor for your lost/dwindling youth.”

“The recently-updated master suite opens onto a private terrace that’s perfect for an afternoon lounge, late night smoke, or storing a broken down ’89 Mustang that you intend to restore but never quite get around to, and is an embarrassingly spot-on metaphor for your lost/dwindling youth.”

“If you traveled back a hundred-plus years in a time machine, and told the turn-of-the-century carpenter F.J. Simonds, original owner of this former carpentry shop, that his humble pile of bricks would someday be flying off the market at just over a million dollars, he probably would’ve hit you with a piece of scrap lumber and told you to lay off the bathtub moonshine. (Old-timey carpenters were a cranky bunch.)”

“If you traveled back a hundred-plus years in a time machine, and told the turn-of-the-century carpenter F.J. Simonds, original owner of this former carpentry shop, that his humble pile of bricks would someday be flying off the market at just over a million dollars, he probably would’ve hit you with a piece of scrap lumber and told you to lay off the bathtub moonshine. (Old-timey carpenters were a cranky bunch.)”

“Full disclosure: this beautiful Georgetown Federal has been designated historical by the Foundation for the Preservation of Historic Georgetown, so if you so much as install the wrong kind of mailbox, several old ladies from the historical society will come to your house, let themselves in using spare keys kept on file down at the historical society clubhouse, and hit you with their purses.”

“Full disclosure: this beautiful Georgetown Federal has been designated historical by the Foundation for the Preservation of Historic Georgetown, so if you so much as install the wrong kind of mailbox, several old ladies from the historical society will come to your house, let themselves in using spare keys kept on file down at the historical society clubhouse, and hit you with their purses.”