… Stroll down the foyer and you come to the living room. What can I say, it’s a room. It’s nice-sized, with several large windows, and enough space for one of those huge sectional sofas that are more comfortable to sleep on than an actual bed. What else? There’s a little shelf on the wall. You can stack all the cash you’re not paying towards rent anymore on the shelf. Your friends will come over and be like, “why is there $75,000 in stacked hundreds on that bookshelf?” (“That’s all the money I’m not paying on rent anymore, since I bought this place. I’m stacking it on that shelf because my aunt forwarded me an e-mail about the Federal Reserve and now I don’t trust banks.”) It’s a nice living room.
We’ve all heard about free, or almost free, houses in Europe – the castles given away for nothing, the Italian villas for one Euro, etc – and somehow they don’t strike us as that unusual. Unlike the roaring US, we think of Europe as a mess of millenia-old cultures that’s constantly on the brink of utter exhaustion. In this metaphor, Europe is your elderly aunt who has to pay attendants to go on cruises with her, while America is her young vibrant niece who’s choosing between suitors. Right? Well, not so much … … HIGH PRICES GOT YOU DOWN? FREE HOUSES ARE EVERYWHERE-BUT THERE’S A CATCH
… “The kitchen is what I would describe as “real nice” (yes, I get paid for this), with tons of counter space and so many expanses of pristine white marble that even the smallest unwiped splatter of marinara is going to draw the eye so violently that you might as well have slaughtered a full-grown hog in there.”