It’s an open secret that a lot of DC politicians and pro athletes live in CityCenter; ex-Attorney General Eric Holder and Senator Claire McCaskill come to mind. I’m honestly not sure if this unit used to belong to one of them, though, and I was too embarrassed to ask at the open house. I guess the only way to find out is to go door to door after you move in, lightly knocking on each door and then whispering, “Eric? Claire?”

dc9859446_0If you’ve lived in the District for a decade or so, you remember when the site of CityCenterDC was nothing.  Like, literally nothing, just a huge parking lot that was never even half full.  Parking booth attendants used to shout at me to get out, when I would cut across the unfenced lot on the way home from the downtown job I briefly held down, and I would keep walking and wave back, pretending that I’d misheard them.  Crazy to think that land in DC used to be almost literally worthless.

Now it’s an A-1 prime condo building.  When you look up the building’s “conveniences” online, one of the first thing that comes up is a Louis Vuitton on the ground floor, for when you need to run out for a cup of sugar and a $9000 handbag.  It’s an open secret that a lot of DC politicians and pro athletes live in CityCenter; ex-Attorney General Eric Holder and Senator Claire McCaskill come to mind.  I’m honestly not sure if this unit used to belong to one of them, though, and I was too embarrassed to ask at the open house.  I guess the only way to find out is to go door to door after you move in, lightly knocking on each door and then whispering, “Eric?  Claire?”

This massive unit has over 1700 square feet of indoor space, and an open floor plan to give it a distinctly loft-like feel.  There are true floor-to-ceiling windows, so the place is flooded with light and, as an added bonus, if a party guest really starts droning on about how their new fad diet is subtly adjusting the pH of their body, you could just get a running start and dive headfirst right through the glass.  Through the living room is the gourmet kitchen, with blonde wood minimalist cabinets that look like they might just be wall panels.  (To increase the confusion, you should randomly nail a half dozen of them shut and not tell your significant other.)  There’s also a massive white marble island that’s more or less about the size of a twin mattress.  (Get your mind out of the gutter, you pervert.)

The master bedroom is truly sprawling, and sports more floor-to-ceiling windows, so invest in some heavy drapes, or every Sunday morning you’ll pause in the middle of your post-breakfast-in-bed crossword puzzle and think, “I bet someone’s watching me through a telescope right this very second.”  The master bath has a long continuous mirror above two side-by-side basins, for such a strong “high school restroom” vibe that you’ll be constantly fighting the urge to furtively light up a sloppy joint of terrible weed.  There’s also a shower of lightly frosted glass, so if someone blunders into the bathroom while you’re in the shower, they won’t necessarily be able to tell it’s you, but they will be able to tell that you’re doing something very strange with that shampoo bottle.

But really, the crown jewel of this unit is the massive 955 square foot outdoor terrace.  It’s the perfect place for early morning meditation, a peaceful drink at the end of the day, or just to see if you can drop your gum onto someone coming out of Louis Vuitton.  Also, CityCenterDC features tons of amenities, like a yoga room, a massage room, a gym, and even a large public roof patio that’s just above yours.  If you put a big tank of water on your patio and cannonball into it from the upper public patio, I will make a legally binding agreement right here and now to paypal you $100.

925 H Street NW #804
2 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths
$3,195,000

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All photos courtesy MRIS; listing courtesy of Compass, 202-386-6330

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